In 1 Corinthians 13:6, the Bible declares that “love keeps no record of wrongs.” The original language literally says, “love does not count up wrongdoing.” Many times, it is difficult not to keep score of wrongdoing especially with those closest to you, usually your spouse and kids. But, when you think about it, when you keep a record of wrong or count wrongdoing, you take the place of God. Allow me to let you in on a secret, you and I are not God! Turn off the scoreboard…
Jesus warns you in Matthew 7, “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” It cannot get much clearer. You look at another judging them for a “speck” of problems they may be causing while you have a log in your own eye. Remove the log and you will see clearly. In the process of removing the log out of your eye, you begin to view your own sinfulness and selfishness which results in patience and mercy towards the other.
Often, my wife and I work as mentors for other couples. When conflicted couples come to us initially, often each of them has a long record of wrongdoings committed by the other person. “It’s not me, it’s her…you straighten him out and you will resolve our problems.” It takes a while, but one of the spouses comes into a meeting and pronounces, “I am no longer spending my time judging him or her. I have problems on my side of the balance sheet to work on.” Once that happens, grace and mercy enter the marriage relationship. It becomes a matter of time before their marriage gets sorted.
You may say, “Well, I have sorted out my problems, and he is not working on his.” Again, you are not God. Paul the Apostle states in Romans 12, “17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Paul is saying turn off the scoreboard and humbly trust God. He will take care of you and the perceived wrong doer which gives you freedom to grow. Love keeps no record of wrong.