(Part 2 in the Honoring God During Divorce series.)
Make no mistake about it – divorce is war. Gather the troops, a.k.a. Prayer Warriors.
You have entered a spiritual battle. However, you must remind yourself that your spouse is not the enemy. You may think it sure feels like they are the enemy; they are acting like an enemy.
Well, God has made provision for those thoughts and feelings. He instructs us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matt. 5:44). Read 1 Corinthians 13 for a refresher on how God defines love; He is not asking you to have warm, affectionate feelings toward someone who feels like an enemy.
So, what does it look like to love your enemy? See Matthew 5:38-48. How do you pray for your persecutors? Pray for their salvation (Jude 23), their relationship with God to deepen (2 Pet. 3:18), and for conviction from the Holy Spirit to bring about repentance (Jn. 16:8).
I reiterate – Your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy. Satan is.
Remember, “that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour” (1 Pet. 5:8). His goal is to steal, kill, and destroy (Jn. 10:10).
Don’t lose sight of who your real enemy is. Don’t be distracted by well-meaning advice that inadvertently focuses your anger on your spouse. Don’t be led astray by the incredibly intense emotions that will flood you.
Fear not, Christian; God has made provision for this reality. Hold fast to God’s promise that “no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong” (Isa. 54:17).
The battle is spiritual – we do not war against flesh and blood, so our weapons of warfare are spiritual (Eph. 6:12). Put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-18). Sharpen your sword, i.e., learn the Word of God and how to wield it righteously. Watch and pray.
A word of caution – don’t rob your prayers of power. Don’t use asking for prayer as a time to gossip or cast aspersions on your spouse. Don’t be double-minded – kneeling in prayer and walking in fear (Jam. 1:6-8).
Additional Prayer Points to Consider:
- Pray for healing and protection for yourself and your child(ren) (Ps. 147:3)
- Pray that God will strengthen your faith and you will be able to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7)
- Pray for mercy and justice (Ps. 6)
- Pray for a clean heart (Ps. 51:10) – that your thoughts and words be acceptable to God · (Ps. 19:14)
- Pray that God will keep you free from both unconscious and presumptuous sins (Ps. 19:12-13)
Angela Startz – Certified Christian Life Coach