The following blog is written by Angela Startz, MAHSC, CCLC/Life Coach. Observing her walk with the Lord and her work as a Life Coach, Angela has earned Pam and my respect. Barnabas Man will publish a series of her blogs each Tuesday:
You married until death do us part… Only to find yourself become a statistic. Now you are among the 41% of first marriages that end in divorce, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third (Gilbert, 2021).
2019 had the lowest divorce and marriage rates in 50 years (Wang, 2020). Finances appear to be a significant player in the reasons behind the decline. Wang (2020) notes that being unable to afford a wedding and lack of stable employment are among the top reasons behind the decrease in marriages. Likewise, couples struggling financially cannot afford the average divorce cost of $11,300.00 (Gilbert, 2021).
And yet, “every 13 seconds, there is a divorce in America” (Wilkinson & Finkbeiner, 2020).
How can a Christian navigate this process without compounding the sinfulness of the situation?
Without speculating on the reason(s) you find yourself in the quagmire of divorce and refusing to stir the waters of judgment, how are you honoring God during this ungodly process?
In the words of a friend of mine, “I didn’t know that was a thing.” Another said, “The thought never crossed my mind about seeking biblical counsel in that scenario [divorce].”
The bible was not given to us to teach us how to live holy and honor God in a perfect world where everything goes our way and according to our plan. It was given to us, so we could begin to understand God’s character, see His heart, and learn to imitate Him as beloved children (Eph. 5:1-3) right here in this fallen, broken, diseased, corrupt world.
It was given to us to know how to receive His forgiveness (Acts 10:43, I Jn., 1:9) and extend it to ourselves and others (Col. 3:13).
So, yes, it’s a thing. You can honor God while walking through the ungodly process of divorce.
Assuming you have done all you can to reconcile and divorce is inevitable, seeking wise counsel (in addition to your attorney) is a must to set yourself up for success (Pro. 11:14). Assets do not measure success in this arena. It is measured by honoring God, maintaining your integrity, not compromising your character, and safeguarding your child(ren).
Barnabas Man 