Sometimes I Doubt

Do you ever struggle with knowing God loves you?

I have shared Jesus with those in prison and it is very easy for me to tell a brother in prison who is hurting that I am sure God loves him and that he should be sure of that too.  That God is bigger than anything he has done.  I do it with absolute assurance and zeal.  I am sure of it, and want him to know that truth.

But when it comes to me, sometimes I doubt.  I don’t know why but there are times when I don’t believe God can love me cause of my sinfulness, rebellion, and rejection of him.

1 John 4:16 states:  So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

I am trying to live in this more,  “to come to know and to believe the love that God has for us”  includes me always, no matter what.

And in 1 John 4:10 we read about God’s love:  “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

I am also trying to live in this more, that “This is love” (my emphasis). This is what true love is, God’s love. Not that we (I) love God but that he loves us and sent his son to atone for our (my) sins.

The love comes from him to me.  It’s not conditional, in fact God has numerous reasons not to love me.  He chooses to love me, in spite of me.  The funny thing is that both of us have a choice.  I love God sometimes and show it and often don’t and make choices that show it.  But he never stops loving me, his decision is to always love.

As I write this it is so absurd.  I know the truth and yet doubt it at times.  By the power of the Spirit I want to more consistently “come to know and to believe the love that God has for us” allowing me to be more at rest and peace and able to better share this love with others.

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