An eye-opening, convicting verse for us men is found in 1 Peter 3:7 (NIV), 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. ESV translates the first two parts of the verse this way, “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to (her)…” Here’s our choices as men. One, “be considerate treating your wife with respect” or stated another way, “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to her.” If you are, God is working with a good heart and your prayers will not be hindered. If you are not, God is working with a hard heart and prayers will be hindered.
The Bible says in Ephesians 5 that our love for our wife should reflect the love He has for His church. The world must see this level of intimacy between your wife and you especially your kids. If not, the very building block of community is compromised. Love you wife as Christ loves the church so that He can breathe His Holy Spirit into your family.
When we are not understanding and respectful towards our wife, this causes double trouble for her. She not only has to put up with our behavior in the nasty-now-and-now but also has to live with the consequences in the future as a result of our disobedience. Galatians 6 “7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction.” She has to pay now and later. This is definitely not the atmosphere of a Godly, intimate, vitalized marriage.
You may say, “My wife is not Miss Super Sweet Woman herself. Sometimes, her words and actions are pretty toxic.” A couple of thoughts from God’s word will help us out here. Galatians 6 “9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Continue to be God’s man especially when it is not easy. He promises that in “the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” I recognize that “the proper time” is often not according to the time clock that we may choose. However, we have to recognize, God is not so much into our comfort as He is into our character. “Proper time” is time needed to “transform your mind…Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).
Asking a room full of men to raise their hands if they have a comprehensive understanding of their wife, I am not sure any hand will go up. Be a student of your wife and on a practical basis be considerate and honorable towards her daily. If so, the Holy Spirit is a Happy Camper! He will breathe life into your marriage. If not, your prayers will go nowhere I don’t care how much you pray.