In 1 Corinthians 13:6, the Bible declares that “love keeps no record of wrongs.” The original literally says, “love does not count up wrongdoing.” This is difficult especially with your spouse and kids. But, when you think about it, when you keep a record of wrong or count up wrongdoing, you take the place of God. Hey, let me let you in on a secret, you and I ain’t God!
Jesus warns us in Matthew 7, “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” It cannot get much clearer. We look at another judging them for a speck of problems they are causing while we have a log in our own eye. Remove the log and you will see clearly your own sinfulness which results in more patience and mercy towards the other. My wife and I work as Mentors for other couples. When conflicted couples come to us initially, often each of them come with a long record of wrongdoings by the other person. “It’s not me, it’s her…you straighten him out and you will resolve our problems.” It takes a while, but one of the spouses comes into a meeting and pronounces, “I am no longer spending my time judging him or her. I have a boat load of problems on my side of the balance sheet to work on.” Once that happens, grace and mercy enter the marriage relationship, and it becomes a matter of time before their marriage gets sorted.
You may say, “Well, I have sorted out my problems, and she is not working on hers.” Again, you are not God. Paul the Apostle states in Romans 12, “17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Paul is saying turn off the scoreboard and humbly trust God. He will take care of you and the perceived wrong doer. In the midst of this, He will have the freedom to grow you. Love keeps no record of wrong.