A great big challenge during the holidays may be dealing with your wife’s and your families. Often in the blended family environment, we are dealing with multiple families, not only in-laws but ex’es. And, to add to the fun, we may find ourselves closer to our ex’es family (Mom and Dad as well as siblings) than to our current in-laws. And, if you think this confusing, what are your children thinking?!
It is often said that the four biggest problems in marriage is your mother and father and your spouse’s mother and father. In fact, psychologist tell us that there is huge imprint of our family of origin in each of us. As a result, most of us have developed a “false self” to survive and/or to meet the expectations of our families. In midst of all this, there is a lot of pain. And, your unconscious mind does not put a calendar on pain meaning things that what happened as a youngster is just as painful if not much more painful as what happened two weeks ago. Being around family often pricks those hurtful memories of the past.
You may not have had much fun and even hurtful moments during Thanksgiving Holiday and now you have the gigantic Christmas Holiday season with tons of family staring you in your face. Or, you may be one who is experiencing holidays by yourself…that’s pain and I am sorry. If you are the latter, let this blog know and you will not be by yourself. Of course, if you end up being around someone like me, you may realize lonely is not a bad thing! 😊
Hey, I have good news. God uses all these experiences for His glory as ugly as they may be…even ones that happened this past week, today and going through the upcoming holidays. Romans 8:28-29 states, 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…First, Paul makes a bold point, “And we know that.” He declares that the following comments after this phrase are for sure. Paul had total confidence…no doubt about it. “For those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” He did not say all things are “good” but that all things are “for good.” He uses every experience (good, bad and ugly) for His glory. Verse 29 clarifies verse 28. He uses each of these experiences to “conform us to the image of His son.” He will use every experience to transform us to look like and act like Jesus. Brother and Sister, bad news changes into good news! You will discover when we are the weakest, His power ministers to us at the deepest, most intimate levels and changes us for His glory to something beautiful…the image of His Son.
In fact, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says in parallel with the above verses 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Not only are you to know that all things work “for good” but He wants us to “give thanks” in all circumstances. Now, that is some powerful stuff!
So, during the holidays, if your father, mother, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, in-law, grandchild, friend or acquaintance says or does something that seems to be really stupid, rude and/or hurtful, immediately offload it to Jesus. Or, if even if you have been left alone, in the sphere and power of the Holy Spirit, He can use all this for His glory. Wholeheartedly, completely hand each and every experience over to His loving and caring hands. I can assure you that it will end up for good. All things!