19 yThose whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and zknock .aIf anyone hears my voice and opens the door, bI will come into him and eat with him, and he with me. 21 cThe one who conquers, dI will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as eI also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 pHe who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’” – Revelation 3:19-22
For those that have been following or reading the Barnabas Man Blog you may have wondered what happened the last couple days… Outside of a general blah, yuck, and meh feeling, it was me.. I woke up Saturday Morning and headed out of the house to a men’s breakfast and said, “i’ll get to it later”. Then Saturday night came and went and then Sunday… the thoughts just lingered and I couldn’t grab a sound message to save my life. By the time this morning arrived i was outright sick and tired of feeling blah about a no good very bad day… Can you relate?
The cause? There was not one… The reason? nothing… The state of mind I had sat in all day was just blah, yuck, & meh… “oh be careful little ones what you post”. You remember that song from Sunday school? “oh be careful little ones what you say, oh be careful littles ones what you do.. For the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little ones what you do..”
As I drove home this afternoon this crushing feeling of emptiness just started to get so heavy I had to get out from underneath it. You see i knew that the longer i sat in that yuck and meh the longer it was going to take me to get out. I prayed, yes, I prayed more, i studied and worshipped and praised, yet the mood didn’t go away for 3 days! My only thought was that I was not about to spit out some BS on the Barnabas Man to suffice a “task” of hitting the consecutive post marks… No way… so i am opting for transparent confession… I felt like crap, my thoughts were dark and dismal, and i was not letting God take over. As my drive continued, i picked up the phone and called home to my wife Heather and spilled it out to her…. “I don’t know what it is…. I can’ t put words to it right now… i can’t get out of this blah… ” Can you relate? She responded with “i hear you, we all have those days, get home safe and keep praying..”
It wasn’t a few moments after we hung up that the prayer line started up again… “Father, why aren’t you doing something here, can’t you see me in this..?
“19 yThose whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and zknock .aIf anyone hears my voice and opens the door, bI will come into him and eat with him, and he with me. 21 cThe one who conquers, dI will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as eI also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 pHe who has an ear,
let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’” – Revelation 3:19-22
One thing i hope you will never read on the Barnabas Man posts is some trivial lesson given from a distant and secret heart. The bottom line was that GOD HAD been listening to me, evening watching me for 3 days walk through the dirt and drag my feet as if I was struggling…. But what HE WAS NOT ABOUT TO DO was allow me some free pass of wonder and amazement without my effort. “The one who conquers I will grant him to sit with ME ON MY THRONE.”
Really? Can you see us up there? Can we avoid ourselves long enough to hear this calling? “The one who conquers I will grant him to sit WITH ME ON MY THRONE.”
I’m about tired of making excuses for a “good mood” or a “bad day” or a “longing for more” or a “just can’t get there attitude”. I ‘m about tired of making up reasons for coming up short when it comes to FAITH AND TRUST AND FULL SPIRIT FILLED BELIEF.
Can you relate?
I’m committed to bringing my heart to God and there is no 3 day funk that will keep me from Him. I can’t even tell you if it was God pullin me out or maybe Heather’s reassurance or maybe something else that just picked me up and stood me back on my feet. But i can tell you this…. I am out of the rut and don’t want to sit there any longer.
Yes, we must be careful brothers, for our lives are but a vapor here and there is simply not enough time to sit in the muck and wonder what happened when the bell tower rings. Again, speaking to myself this evening, I ‘m not always on my best game… i’m not always in the best mood or mindset, but i am ALWAYS behind the door He is knocking on and I am ALWAYS the one that he loves, reproves, and disciplines. How quickly do i forget that when it matters?
Welcome to a new week gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the eternity to come..
Father, may your SPIRIT abide in those whom you love and resonate from them your abounding love, grace, mercy and glory. We all need you more than we know and wish for you to remind us this truth daily. You are the PERFECT KING. In your Holy Name we pray, your reign, your way. Amen