Inventory

PREFACE

“Our Father who is in heaven, Holy be your name. Thy Kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven.

Kingdom come, kingdom come down to Earth as it is in Heaven. Often I wonder if we believe that? Didn’t His kingdom already come 2000 years ago? As Jesus came to earth, a handful of men got to experience His Kingdom “now”. They were able to hear and touch the Kingdom. They centered their lives and thoughts on Him. Fast forward to today, not only living in expectation of Christ return, but getting involved with the sin stained world right where we are. Having God, the Creator of the universe, dwell our minds, hearts, and bodies and move through us to show Himself to a fallen world, brother, or friend. I never get tired of this. The following pages are my effort to understand my life history and how I am changing to live a “Kingdom now” life.

My prayer is that something within these pages will resonate with you in a way that will bring God glory. That something will move you into a position of humility and wanting for Him to fill you with the Spirit and energize you to walk with Him, talk with Him, and serve His Kingdom… now. The pages herein were originally purposed to help me identify my experiences, record a moral inventory, and help me to understand what and why God has been doing. My hope is that writing out this story will prepare me for the next twenty to thirty years as well as give you a passion for God as He dwells in your heart and runs your life. Through transparency and repentance, I bring these words to paper. May Jesus Christ be glorified in your reading.

FILLING THE BLANKS

The problem I ran into as I started this “moral inventory” or autobiography, was the more I wrote, the more upset I became about the choices I had made, or the people I had wronged. Not only had I never realized the damage I had caused in my life and to the lives of others, but more that the damage was always present in my heart with no hope or desire of repairing the issues. Consequently, as I began the repair processes with individuals, I realized that my efforts may have had good intentions, but that I could not actually fix any of it. I could feel sorry about things, I could apologize and make amends to people, but the damage was still present and in some instances, the people wanted nothing to do with my efforts of redemption. I had it wrong. I could not “save” anyone or anything. I could not “fix” the past. It had happened and I was the direct cause of the damage. I needed something stronger than myself. I needed God. I needed His Kingdom now. My plan is to convert my “moral inventory” into a biography. I don’t know when it will be finished or distributed for that matter, but I know the lesson started 8 years ago has been a continued learning ever since. Never stop asking God for what you need. From Job to Solomon to the apostles, He has and will provide his children what they need. Often I wish I had learned that much earlier in my life but then this writing may have never came forth. Never stop asking God for what you need. He knows, He hears, He restores, and He rewards, and above all, having a His Spirit within you every day is truly the Kingdom Now. Enjoy Him.

I’m sharing this excerpt this morning from a personal project. About 8 years ago, an exercise suggested to me was to complete a “moral inventory” which for me led into approx. 45 pages of writing. Those pages still exist and are in process of further completion however today’s point is this:

Never stop asking God for your needs. 8 years ago i was living at the end of my means, with very few options of a way out. I had lost my career, my wife, my children, most of my possessions, and especially my faith.  Thinking back through my hesitation and fears, I remember coming to a place of absolute and complete surrender of myself. I had zero energy left to do things my way and thank God for that because my way ended up destroying myself and others every time. I’d encourage anyone to write out their story and further even write out your “moral inventory”. We’d be surprised to learn of the items we have categorized and placed away without ever repairing and very surprised as to how much influence to items or people have over us.

Coming to Christ can look very different for people from one to another, but one common trait is this: Complete surrender of yourself to Him allows full Spirit dwelling. God is not in the business of partial or mediocrity. He is into FULLNESS, and HOLY, and TRUTH. Holding back pieces of yourself or your life from Him will only deepen your wounds and prolong your ability to be effective in His Work.

There are many parts of my story that are unpleasant and some may take offense to parts of it.  However offended another may become, it is MY STORY. I have the personal responsibility to myself and to God to understand it, to restore it, and to use it for His Glory. No one can do that for me and keeping it locked up in a secret hiding place eliminates any chance of it working for His Kingdom. Write it down, pray it out, share your history with a trusted friend. START Today to get your story out of your mind and into the world. Make a list, call it inventory, call it repentance. Start today. There is someone that needs to hear it.

Author: Brenden Kurtz

Kingdom now. A Life interrupted by the Great I am. Project love unto others, both known and unknown, & to elevate one's attitude and aptitude. www.barnabasman.com

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