Sometimes life happens. We get caught up in what we are doing and forget how we are even able to do it. We forget that the abilities we have been given are not of our own doing. That the talents we have are not of our own doing. During the last couple of weeks, I have been caught up in life. I have been focused on being positive. Focused on speaking life in to people when they are down. Focused on helping others believe in themselves more. And honestly, I have just grown tired.
Tired of being that person for everyone else. Tired of consistently doing the right things only to have nothing to show for it. A pride has built up in me over that time. In my mind, I believed I was the one that everyone kept coming to to help them through. I saw my advice and counsel as something people wanted. In turn, I started to believe that I was owed certain respects. I didn’t think I needed the counsel of anyone else. I thought I had it all figured out because people were looking up to me. People were relying on me. So why did I get so tired of being that person? Why did it wear me down? Why did I start to get frustrated? Because I thought it was me that people were wanting to be around. That it was me people were seeking advice from. It turns out that wasn’t the case.
See, I had forgotten that it was God who gave me the ability to speak to people. To share with people. To have a certain way with words. To be a person that people enjoyed being around. He is the one who was working through me to counsel and be there for others. To speak life in to a tough situation. To be positive in a very negative circumstance. We are created with talents and abilities. It is our choice to grow them and use them but we need to do so with God at the forefront of that learning. I was not doing that. So, I was humbled. I was reminded. I was slapped upside the head.
I was reminded that these times are needed. This was a good thing for me to experience. It gave me the opportunity to learn and grow. It reminded me that I am not perfect despite my pride telling me otherwise. Confidence is one thing, but pride is another. It reminded those in my circle of influence that I am not perfect. It let them know that it is ok not to be perfect. We are human and there is nothing we can do about it. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to get prideful sometimes. We are going to need to be humbled and reminded that the gifts that God has given us work best, actually ONLY, when you allow Him to be the focus. Let Him be the reason. Let Him be the light. In the end, I was bound to get frustrated and depressed. I was bound to break. I was bound to get tired because I thought that I was the one accomplishing something. I thought I was the one sharing wisdom. The one sharing positivity. But it was Him!
Today it finally sank in. I finally realized what was happening. Why I felt so off. Why I felt so tired. And, I couldn’t be happier that it did happen. Because I have been really miserable the last few days trying to figure out what was going on. Now I can rejoice in the fact that I know why. I can rejoice because I will build stronger character through this. I will grow in my faith. I will gain more wisdom. I will have more hope. Ultimately, I will be able to move closer to who God really created me to be.
I believe I have quoted this scripture in the past but I can’t help but come back to it. It is one of my personal favorites.
Romans 5:1-5 (ESV)
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
I will leave you with this. God always knows what we need and when we need it. We take that for granted, which is a topic for another day. This morning I woke up still struggling with things. I have a daily Bible verse app on my phone and it sends me a reminder at 8am every morning to click on and see my verse for the day. This is what the verse was this morning:
Psalms 55:22 (NIV)
Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
DON’T BE SHAKEN!! DON’T BE MOVED!! HE WILL SUSTAIN YOU!!